Boyfriend 3

 

defining boyfriend  at that time as someone I dated, spent time with, maybe had a kiss or 2...puppy love.

The music of Leon Russell makes me think of a high school boyfriend, Dennis. He was 2 years older than me. I was young for my school age. He was a senior when I was a junior at Shaker. I had just gotten there. Luckily,

I had a good friend that was at Shaker when I arrived. He was a neighbor of a friend of mine from girl’s school…they lived next-door to each other in Menands with a golf course behind their house. He and I were best of friends for years…I adored him…I did a lot of growing up with him. His house was very “free” …His father was absent and his mother was a lush…anything went. In fact, my sister dated his older brother when she was in HS…but maybe just once. I don’t know. The older brother’s name was John and he lost his leg due to an accident with a chainsaw in the back yard. He became a drug addict but I rarely saw him.

Mark was my dear dear friend and his best friend was Dennis…and Dennis was really my first serious boyfriend. 

Dennis was a stand up guy..not really like Mark , more serious. He had long black hair and big glasses. I cannot remember how we started dating or what dating meant…The clearest memory I have is before he and Mark left for a remote sea location ( CC MA) where they would work on  fishing boats or whale watching….I thought I’d die. He cut off all of his hair and gave it to me in a plastic bag before he left.  I have no memory of my mother’s meddling in this relationship. I would see Dennis at school and at Mark’s house. Not sure how we got around my mother.

We listened to Leon Russell’s Carney album non stop…it was so sad…feeling all of those emotions you need to feel as a young human. He was a good guy….smart, moral, respectful..but he left.

as did Mark…double heartbreak. 

Years later, when I was living in the east bay SF, Dennis reconnected with me. He was living on CC with a wife and 3 daughters. He was captain of a fleet of boats at this point…

I think he was going through growing pains in his marriage and reached back into the past for me, for someone. We communicated a little and then he was gone. He did tell me that Mark had died…but I can’t remember how…

and that was the end , I am left with Leon Russel’s Carney, the loss of Mark and the thought of the path that I did not go down any further.

Flax and Daisies. Emilia Romagna

 

Dubai Chocolate?

 

I heard about this but now it's showing up in the supermarket. Perhaps a person might buy it once. I saw smaller versions for about 4 euro...candy bar sized.

Update

2004 Nissan Terrano

 Update…

I went to see the car yesterday. I met the woman at a supermarket parking near where she lives. Wow…it’s a powerful machine and clean, well taken care of. It’s black on black. It’s just a little bit longer than my present car.

It is a bit narrower and MUCh higher…in fact, it has steps up on both sides. I didn’t drive it due to leaving my driving glasses in my car. It has the stick on the floor, like a truck. I've never driven a car like that before but I am sure I will get used to it.  It is 100% more luxurious than my car…spotless inside with great AC!…very powerful.I really think I should buy it and I am already mourning the old car.

I am glad she didn’t see my car as it is not well cared for.

The woman was very nice and is American with French residency also. She has lived here a long time. She was very thin, tan, about 5’9”, with shaggy white shorts on and a white baseball cap covering shortish bleached hair. …We had a lot in common.

American, she lived in LA, she’s an artist, a painter, she is walking a similar tightrope as I am with all the bureaucracy here. She doesn’t have her French drivers license which I fretted about for so long.

She told me that I look exactly like an old friend from long ago that she lost touch with and hasn’t been able to find ( Donna Delgado , have you seen her?) She had tears in her eyes. It was sweet…we had a connection due to so many things in common. She/They have 4 cars so she thinks its time to sell one.

She was going to go back to LA but she now was a Norwegian boyfriend who she lives with so is not leaving…We hugged when I left and said we can be friends…or I should say I would be her friend due to the loss of Donna Delgado all of those years ago…and we hugged, but, I

I don’t think we will be friends…

She’s very nice but my spidey senses are tingling up a bit. She reminds me of another friend I had here who is Finnish…friend no more…can’t describe…

Anyway…now I make plans for buying…things are complicated here…but I continue to inch forward.

Umbria

 Love this one....so pretty.

Spanish Harlem

I give you this as I was digging this in the car today...My favorite, Leon Russell. I cnnot find a video of him playing this...Such a beautiful song...amazing piano...listen!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_Harlem_(song)

Have the Aretha version as well...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtU6j0n5OZM

She was amazing!

 I put off reaching out to the person with the car till late this afternoon. She responded with no big letters…so…all that worry was for nothing…( like usual)  I will meet her tomorrow but I think the car ( 4x4) looks good. I went to the local cafe this morning to talk to my friend the mechanic, Fred.

I showed him my inspection results. There was a man who spoke English who talked me through it…it was nowhere near as bad as I thought, but still, my Land Rover needs all kinds of work underneath. All of the rubber that

holds things apart from each other and keeps thing quiet and smooth are all rotted…and need to be replaced. I know this means the whole engine block and some other things have to be removed and have to be reinforced . I am waiting for an estimate ( a “devi” in French).

At the cafe was my friend Fred and an older man that has known me for years…Jean Michel. He always tells me how old he is and today he was 84. He seemed very weak to me today which was worrisome. He is a bit lewd at times. I ignore it. 

He has a daughter so is kind of fatherlike with  me. He has been after me for years to get rid of the car I have…I presented my situation and he told me that Nissan is great and that I should go for it…

My friend Fred assured me that he could get my present car through inspection if I did some tweaks….new back tires (400 euro ) and some fluid that will fix the exhaust…

So, I could continue with the present car…but it needs the undercarriage fix ( guessing 1500-1000 euro) and I can’t take it on any trip. It would just be for local only….not necessary for the inspection.

So I have to “refleche”, reflect on it as they say here. I think I should just go for it and stop worrying about having a crappy car…also, I could go to Italy with it and not have to rent any more. I would also have a nice car ( 4x4 )…AC, sound system…

But, if I move to Bretagne in the fall….I guess I could drive us…13 plus hours. ( awful highway)

-or should I wait to get to Carnac to find a car? Everything is cheaper there. I don’t think you can beat the price of this Nissan…the current US to Euro exchange is terrible….

-I would stay here if I could find a home….it’s close to Italy and that is where I want to be…keep the old car till I find a new home?

I know no one can help me with these decisions. I have to figure it out on my own. No one would want to take the responsibility if things went sideways.

So I will see the car tomorrow and inch forward into a decision.

It’s so hard being alone in life. No one to help with important life decisions...

Clover

 

 I am up against a sort of dilemma…I have to get a new car. Mine failed inspection last week and I think it is the end. I could put a bunch of money into it to get it up and working for a few more months or a year, but I think it’s time. The man at the inspection place was super annoyed at the car and at me ( their logo is a happy fox). He was annoyed because he could not get an accurate reading on tests coordinated with a computer. I could see him fighting with the car. What should have been 45 minutes was 90 minutes. He was not pleased. When he was ready for me, he hammered me with rough french. I couldn’t understand him at all…he didn’t care. I asked him for the written description and he practically threw it at me…when I attempted to ask about something he told me to go talk to a mechanic…He was done with me.

I knew this time was coming…

I think I will cry when I have to say goodbye to the car. It was part of my small family for about 10 years…it reminds me of my dogs. It reminds me of me. It has served me well ,as well as having let me down ( like the only trip I took it on to Italy and it practically blew up!)

So I found a 4 x 4 that night work, at a good price on an ex pat english speaking site. I reached out and have been going back and forth with the woman via email. I had questions and she seemed a bit bitchy but hey!

does she want to sell it? There is a description on the site but I wondered about the color…is it black or is it dark blue…one question too far….she responded in all caps which translates to yelling! READ THE ADD, ITS ALL IN THE ADD….ad spelled “ADD”…so, what am I to do? It is NOT in the ad….the interior color is but not the exterior and I made my query clear.

I think most other people would not be bothered by this but this type of thing grinds my gears. 

I put myself in her position…why would I possibly yell at someone that I want to buy my car ( isn’t the customer always right?) I wouldn’t. I would never really yell in that way at anyone unless I was super frustrated and it was

related to some bureaucracy . Wouldn’t it have been easier to say..”black” and be done with it…so, I am not getting why the response.. the word ad spelled add leads me to believe english is not her first language..who would make that mistake? Maybe it’s a cultural thing that I don’t understand…

On top of all those thought gyrations, what do I do now? I was supposed to see the car on Thursday. I would want my mechanic to take a look at it but if she can’t even be patient and polite with questions how will I ever

maneuver getting my car to the mechanic? She can’t imagine I would not have it looked over and just take her word for it.

If there is one thing I know is that it is always best to buy from a dealership and with a guarantee ( didn’t help much last time as the car fell apart right after it expired). The price is good and the car looks perfect in many ways ( except maybe all black in a place with scorching heat. Today it was almost unbearable)…and put a black dog into it…but, unlike my car I imagine the AC works. 

so I am not sure how to proceed.

I would add that I have been well trained , since birth, to always consider myself wrong, no matter what, ….I am always too much…did I ask too much? was it wrong to ask? I feel in a sort of guilt limbo…I want to pursue seeing the car but feel like I did something wrong. I’m beginning to sour on it…I don’t even know what to respond to the yelling email…” The exact color of the car is not in the ad”,…or “ I’m sorry to cause a problem but…”  or do I yell back? “IT”S NOT IN THE AD(D)!”...…what I am doing is nothing…I’m going to wait a day. When it gets closer to Thursday I will ask about meeting.

It seems a simple thing but this type of thing ties me into a knot.  It’s important to me and I can’t read the other person.

I think I better keep looking.

Impression Olive Grove

 

Beautiful Norcia

 

Olivia Dean - Nice To Each Other

New Olivia Dean...such a beautiful voice and masterful use of it.

Emilia Romagna on a mixed cloud day.

so beautiful, almost impossible to capture due to the light. South of Parma.

looking south down to the river Taro.